been a long time.. LOL

well been a long time since my last time writing a blog here.. hehe :)

really sorry for not writing blog for a long time..

just trying to healing myself..

you know, i hate crying and sighing bout things..

well things are getting bored these days, with no new things everyday.

i don't know how many times i've been thinking to end this all.. LOL

hahaha but i'm still here, still alive, still breathing..

it's just..well, complicated for me.

one, i still can't forget him..

it's been a month already, but i still can't forget him, though..

i dunno why.. and i also don't know why my chest still aching anytime i think or remember anything that connects to him.

well.. it's really ridiculous to know he likes someone else just right one month after he finally accepts me..

i don't know if he really can't tell it to me because he don't wanna hurt me..

but i really want to know, the real reason why he was hiding that..

and also the reason why he sometimes ignores me..

i really want, and need to know why is that..

until now, he sometimes talk to me..and ignores me..

it's.. well i'm not hoping he won't talk to me again, no..

i.. well just want to talk to him.. or spend my time with him..

because i can't.. i really can't forget him and i don't know how..

ahahahaha.. sheesh.. looks like the quote "first love never ends" and "first love always failed" is true..

two, my 3rd sis in law is really annoying..

she don't wanna do any home chores..

she always make mom do it all..

even she make my mom have to wash all of her laundries..

i hate her..

i really hate her lazy behaviour..

she may be pregnant now..

but she still can doing home chores!

she even don't want to wash dishes..

she just laying on her bed and watching tv or being busy with her phone..

i wonder..

what if one day she, and my 3rd bro have their own home?

my mom or me is not her servant..

i can't believe i'll face such complicated probs..

i'm happy to solve one prob, but soon, more probs will come and stressing me again..

i really don't know what to do..

want to end this for once and forever..

but i can't..